Post Partum?
Sorry I haven't posted much since we got home. For the most part things are going great. Lily seems to be adjusting well. She sleeps through the night now for the most part. I may have made her sleep deprived in the beginning but after the weekend of being awake from 2am to 5am I said that's enough and started a normal day schedule. I would wake her up at 8:30am even if she had just gone to sleep at 5am and we'd do breakfast and play then have a morning nap for about 1.5 hours then lunch and more play then afternoon nap for the same amount of time and by 8pm she was ready to sleep. It took only a couple of days of this and she started sleeping through the night. Now her daytime naps have shortened and it's hard to get stuff done, but I think I'll take that over being awake at night.
Adjusting to motherhood has been a little harder then I thought. I have wanted this all of my adult life and now that it's here it's a strange feeling. I think the mind romantices how it will be and it's just not that way. She cries and screams and throws fits just like a normal child. I think I have a little bit of post partum depression. I think this because I feel like I should be perfectly happy and I can't figure out why I don't feel that way. I am really enjoying Lily, she is a happy baby. I feel like she is bonding to us. A friend commented that from the time we came home to now (a week) that Lily looks more alive and animated. She looks like she is adjusting well. Why do I not feel like I'm adjusting well?
This is hard to admit to the whole blogging world. I'm the kind that will put on a smiling face and tell you everything is going great, because everything is going great except inside of me. Maybe I just need a good cry and everything will be better. I feel like I just need to settle into stay at home mom mode because that is what I am for the next 3 months until I go back to work. Just getting these feeling out makes me feel better. Thanks for listening.
Here is a picture of the two of us today with Lily in her cute elmo outfit that my sister gave to her.
Adjusting to motherhood has been a little harder then I thought. I have wanted this all of my adult life and now that it's here it's a strange feeling. I think the mind romantices how it will be and it's just not that way. She cries and screams and throws fits just like a normal child. I think I have a little bit of post partum depression. I think this because I feel like I should be perfectly happy and I can't figure out why I don't feel that way. I am really enjoying Lily, she is a happy baby. I feel like she is bonding to us. A friend commented that from the time we came home to now (a week) that Lily looks more alive and animated. She looks like she is adjusting well. Why do I not feel like I'm adjusting well?
This is hard to admit to the whole blogging world. I'm the kind that will put on a smiling face and tell you everything is going great, because everything is going great except inside of me. Maybe I just need a good cry and everything will be better. I feel like I just need to settle into stay at home mom mode because that is what I am for the next 3 months until I go back to work. Just getting these feeling out makes me feel better. Thanks for listening.
Here is a picture of the two of us today with Lily in her cute elmo outfit that my sister gave to her.
posted by Nancy & Brian at 3:16 PM
11 Comments:
Hi,
I read your post today and I could totally relate. You have dreamed of and anticipated bringing your precious baby home and then you are home and YUCKY! Baby cries, no sleep, learning to be a new family..you know the story. I wrote the same type of entry into my journal one week home from China. I even second guessed myself on the whole adoption thing. There is a real depression out there for adoptive families. Hang in there, every day will get better and Lily will start taking longer naps. It takes 24 hours for each hour on the plane to recover from the jetlag. You've got one more week to go. The longer Lily is with you the calmer she will become and before long you won't be able to remember a day without her. Good Luck and Hang in There
You will be fine. Remember, that you are tired, more tired than you have probably ever been, and thing always look darker when you are sleep deprived. You have also been sick, keep all that in mind. Also, I don't know if anyone else is telling you this, but we baby's that come out of our own bodies feel real weird too. In other words weather you adopt or not, it takes a bit to get use to. We always romantisize a bit, and you have my jeans, I know how you think. So listen to me when I tell you you are doing fine and things will look better next week and the next week etc. Make sure you are sleeping. Love the outfit, your coolest sister has great taste.
Sally
ok, I just read my post, and aparently my fingers are not working. But we baby's should be but baby's. I'll let you try to decipher the rest. Spelling is bad too. Thank goodness it is Saturday tomorrow so I can sleep in.
love ya,
Sally
zoaludon't be worried, everyone feels like that, even with your natural children.. you wait, plan and in your mind it will be paradise... then the big day comes and you settle down and reality sets in. a baby is work,and happiness and a big change in life. it will all come together and then you will have no doubts, nothing but big love and major joy. you have started with a big trip, illness and you just need to get into your own family routine and have faith that you have the biggest gift there is in ths world..a child.. you would not have taken this major journey if you did not know tht this is the right and best thing for you and brian. i look forward to you writing how the sun has come out and the world is a beautiful place seen the eyes of your daughter...keep the faith and know you are never alone...
Totally normal!!! Take a moment and look at how much you have accomplished since January......Motherhood is truly an adjustment.
Just remember to call someone when you need to talk. You
Hi Nancy,
What you are feeling is totally normal after having a baby. After giving birth to my daughter 3 years ago, I had many of those same feelings of postpartum. We are also in the process of adopting our 8 month old daughter from Guatemala and I'm sure that I will feel the same way when we finally get to bring her home. We've been going through this process for 15 months now, 8 of those with our referral, and any time you wait so long for something and then it finally comes true, there is bound to be doubt & feelings of depression. I think as mother's, we expect that we'll be so happy when our children finally are here because we've been dreaming & praying about it for so long. I am trying to prepare myself for the inevitable when our daughter does come home. I really appreciate your openness & honesty about your feelings. It's okay to feel that way and it will pass with time.
Lily is beautiful & you are going to be an absolutely wonderful mother to her!
God Bless You All!
Keely
Know that what you are feeling is perfectly understandable - and normal! A friend told me we should buy this book called "The Post Adoption Blues" - http://www.amazon.com/Post-Adoption-Blues-Overcoming-Unforseen-Challenges/dp/1579548660 - she had depression after bringing her daughter home from Ukraine last year, and said it really helped her to deal with feelings she never expected to have.
I think we've waited so long for this it's hard to admit that it may not be what we expected. Be good to yourself, try to get some rest, and know that we are willing to step in and give you guys a break whenever you need one - just ask! (and if you don't ask, we're still going to bug you :-) )
Momma told me there'd be days like this...
all moms feel what you are feeling (especially at first). Don't sweat it. Motherhood is wonderful, but the toughest job on the planet. Cut yourself some slack and know you are doin a great job and it WILL get better.
Lamb, I am so proud of you and full of admiration for your honesty and being in close touch with your feelings. You are on the right track to acknowledge how you feel and just be with those feelings of sorrow, disappointment and confusion. I felt that way after I was married and eventually grew to understand and accept that the life I had was different than my dreams, but an amazing life nonetheless. I know you will take great care of yourself and work through this challenging time, we are here for you - how can we help? My hand is rasied high and proud to volunteer for babysitting duty! I need a little model to try on all the clothes and hair accessories I bought! ;)
It's nice to read a post where someone tells it like it really is--real life--good, bad, and ugly. Most people's blogs only tell the good stuff. This just shows you are a real person! I'll be where you are soon when we bring our first baby home from China. Thanks for your post!
Nancy, I think your feelings are totally normal. I constantly worry about thinking "what now?" once they hand Ava to me. We spend so much time and energy getting through the adoption process that it's easy to romanticize motherhood. I've known many first time moms that had the same feelings upon bringing their baby home from the hospital. But, from what I can tell, it does get better and easier- a thought we both will need to hold onto over the next few months. I can't wait to meet Lily and look forward to a playdate late next month!
Hugs - Michele
Post a Comment
<< Home